Rules, Honesty, and Flexibility: Understanding Choices Through the Autistic Lens

Have you ever been called rigid or too honest? Many autistic people hear those words, and it can feel like criticism of who we are. The truth is—most of us were never taught the soft skills that help with flexibility and problem-solving. Instead, we learned to follow rules exactly, often out of fear of punishment or because nobody explained the differences between rules, guidelines, and laws.

In this week’s video, autistic retired occupational therapist Susan Golubock shares her lived experience. She talks about growing up as a strict rule-follower, why she avoided “breaking” rules, and how she eventually learned that society itself isn’t always as rigid as it seems. By watching how non-autistic people “bend” rules or tell small lies to protect themselves, Susan realized she had choices too—without giving up her values.

This isn’t about telling autistic people to lie or pretend. It’s about understanding:

• The difference between rules, laws, and guidelines.

• Why non-autistic people sometimes “stretch the truth.”

• How to make your own choices while staying true to your values.

• Why being autistic often means we’re more honest, and why that should be respected.

  
  

👉 This conversation is for you. It’s not about fixing autism—it’s about recognizing the social patterns around us, so you can decide what works for you.