Why Self-Awareness Is the Foundation for Growth

Staci Neustadt
Oct 9
2 min read

What if being praised for following directions and “fitting in” came at the cost of losing who you truly are?

For many autistic individuals, the most painful part of growing up isn’t being different — it’s being taught that those differences are something to hide.

In this week’s conversation, Susan Golubock, an autistic retired occupational therapist and founder of Making Sense of Autism, opens up about what was truly traumatic for her as a child — not being seen for who she really was.

Susan shares how, despite her mother’s best intentions to protect her, being treated “like everyone else” sent a powerful message: it’s bad to be different.She learned to comply, to do what others expected, and to silence her own instincts. By adulthood, she realized she didn’t even know what she wanted — because she’d been living her entire life trying to meet everyone else’s expectations.

Compliance is often rewarded in childhood, especially for autistic individuals. But beneath that “good behavior” can lie a deep loss of identity and self-awareness.When we teach children that being easy to manage is more important than being themselves, we disconnect them from the foundation of all growth — knowing who they are.

As Susan explains, self-awareness and self-acceptance are not luxuries — they’re essential for learning, relationships, and emotional well-being.Without them, individuals may struggle to advocate for their needs, make choices, or feel safe being authentic.

Together, Susan and I explore how parents, teachers, and therapists can begin fostering this foundation early:

By inviting autistic individuals to reflect on what feels easy or hard.
By validating differences rather than minimizing them.
By prioritizing understanding over compliance.

If you’ve ever wondered how to help an autistic child, student, or client find their voice — not just follow directions — this conversation will change how you see self-awareness.

🎥 Watch the full video below

💬 After watching, reflect on this: