See the Purpose, Not the Problem: Understanding Autistic Behavior

How often do we hear an autistic child’s behavior labeled as “bad”?

👉 Kicking a wall.

👉 Shouting in class.

👉 Repeating the same action again and again.

But what if those “problems” aren’t really problems at all?

This week, Susan and Staci explore a simple but powerful truth: every behavior has a purpose. When a child kicks the wall and looks at you, they aren’t being “naughty”—they’re saying, “I want your attention. I want connection.”

The real shift comes when we stop asking “How do I stop this behavior?” and instead ask “What is the purpose behind this autistic behavior?”

Punishment vs Connection in Autism Support

If you feel tension here—because you were raised to believe children should be punished for misbehavior—you’re not alone. Many parents and teachers were taught to view autism-related behaviors as “good” or “bad.”

But punishment doesn’t teach connection. It only teaches fear. When we pause to understand the purpose behind autistic behaviors, we not only help the child communicate, but we also strengthen trust and relationships.

Strategies to Support Autistic Children

In this conversation, Susan shares practical strategies to:

• Recognize when “attention-seeking” is really connection-seeking.

• Modify behaviors without punishment or shame.

• Teach autistic children new, clearer ways to communicate needs.

When you shift how you see behavior, you shift how you connect. And connection is where growth begins.

🎥 Watch the full video here: