It’s Okay to Be Different: Why the Words We Use Matter More Than We Realize

Have you ever thought about how your words can change the way someone sees themselves?

When Susan Golubock, an autistic retired occupational therapist, said, “If someone had just told me it’s okay to be different, everything could have changed,” it stopped me in my tracks.

Because how many times have we—parents, teachers, or therapists—used words that were never meant to hurt, but did? Words like “obsessed,” “fixated,” or “perseverates.” We were taught to use them to describe what we observe. But for the person hearing them… those words can quietly plant the belief that who they are is wrong.

In this week’s video, Susan and Staci talk about how language shapes how we see autistic individuals—and how they see themselves. When we reframe our language from deficit to strength, we don’t just sound kinder… we actually change the brain’s response—for us and for them.

Instead of “He’s obsessed with trains,” try “He’s motivated by trains.”

Instead of “She perseverates on details,” try “She has a strong attention to detail.”

Each small shift helps build a foundation of safety and belonging.

Because when we say, “It’s okay to be different,” we aren’t just using words. We’re giving someone permission to be themselves.

👉 Watch the full conversation to hear Susan’s powerful story and learn how one language shift can change everything: