Are You Giving Too Much?

The other day, I walked into the living room and saw a pile of toys scattered across the floor.

My child was sitting nearby, calm but quiet, watching TV. I didn’t ask who left the mess. I didn’t say anything at all. I just cleaned it up. Because it was faster. Easier. Quieter. And honestly, I was tired.

But later that night, I kept thinking about it. What did I just teach my child by doing that?

You give. You anticipate. You do things for your child because it feels like the easier, more loving choice. But what if doing less is actually what helps them grow?

This week, I sat down with Susan Golubock, an autistic retired occupational therapist, and we unpacked this question. Susan said something that stopped me in my tracks:

"If you give too much, you're denying us the need to figure out how to be independent."

That one sentence reframed my entire approach.

In our conversation, Susan and Staci talk about:

• Why so many autistic adults remain dependent, even when they’re capable

• How “learned dependence” happens—even with the best intentions

• The power of give-and-take in relationships, even with non-speaking or minimally speaking children

• How parents can model problem-solving, regulation, and independence—even when words aren’t exchanged

And maybe the most important takeaway?

It’s not about doing nothing. It’s about noticing those small moments and choosing support with our child, not always for them.

If you’ve ever wondered whether helping is helping—or if you’re unintentionally holding your child back—this conversation is for you.

👉 Click below to watch the video and hear Susan’s honest, empowering perspective.

You might just start seeing those “little” moments in a whole new way.