How Do I Teach Social Skills Without Teaching Autistic Masking?

If you're an SLP trying to provide neuro-affirming social communication therapy, you may be asking:

How do I teach social skills without teaching my autistic clients to mask?

Because you don't want to teach an autistic student to perform neurotypical social behaviors just because they're expected.

But you also know that communication differences and misunderstandings are real—and some of your clients want support navigating them.

So where's the line between supporting social communication and teaching masking?

That's exactly what Susan Golubock, an autistic retired occupational therapist, and I unpack in this week's conversation.

Watch: How Do I Teach Social Skills Without Teaching Autistic Masking?

If you've ever questioned whether a social communication goal could unintentionally encourage masking, watch this conversation before writing your next goal.

Susan explains what masking can feel like from an autistic perspective—and her answer to whether learning about communication is automatically masking is an important distinction for SLPs.

https://youtu.be/azwoysJeU_c

What Is Autistic Masking?

Before we can rethink social skills therapy for autistic students, we need to understand what we're trying to avoid.

Masking can involve changing or suppressing natural communication or behavior in response to other people's expectations.

For SLPs, that can raise uncomfortable questions about some traditional social communication targets:

Eye contact. Facial expressions. Body positioning. Expected responses. Conversation rules.

But here's where it gets complicated:

Is teaching someone about these things automatically teaching masking?

Not necessarily.

And the difference matters.

Susan explains that distinction in the video—and it changed the way I think about what we're actually asking a client to do when we work on social communication.

A Question to Ask Before You Correct a Social Skill

Here's one small shift you can use in your next session....

Before correcting a social communication behavior, ask yourself:

“Do I understand why this person communicates this way?”

If you don't, get curious before you teach.

That doesn't mean we never support change.

It means we don't automatically assume different = deficient.

And sometimes what looks like a social communication “problem” may tell us something much more important about what that client needs.

Susan gives a great example of what this curiosity can actually sound like in therapy in our conversation.

But What Do I Teach Instead of Social Skills?

This may be the bigger question.

If we're not teaching autistic students to follow neurotypical social rules, what should neuro-affirming social communication therapy actually target?

And how do we help clients understand communication differences while still honoring their autonomy?

That's where we need to move beyond simply saying:

“Don't teach masking.”

SLPs need to know what to do instead.

In the video, Susan and I talk about what that shift can look like, including a question she believes we should be asking before deciding what an autistic client needs to learn.

▶️ Watch the conversation to hear Susan's answer and think about how it could change your next social communication goal.

Want to Take the Next Step?

If you finish the video thinking:

“Yes. This is how I want to practice—but what do I actually assess, teach, and write goals for?”

That's exactly why we created our Neuro-Affirming Social Communication & Soft Skills Profiles course.

We go beyond the philosophy and help you start applying this shift to your actual work with autistic clients.

Because our goal isn't to help autistic clients become better at masking.

It's to help them better understand themselves and advocate for what they need.