Autism, Trauma, and Behavior in Schools: Why an Empathy Approach Matters

When a student lashes out, shuts down, or refuses to participate, the response in many schools is immediate: stop the behavior.

But what if the behavior is not the real problem?

Research shows that 60–65% of students report at least one Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE). Even more concerning, studies estimate that 70–90% of autistic individuals report experiencing at least one traumatic event in their lifetime.

For many autistic students, behavior is not defiance.

It is a stress response.

In this week's conversation, Speech-Language Pathologist Staci Neustadt and autistic retired Occupational Therapist Susan Golubock discuss why schools must shift from a compliance-first approach to an empathy approach when supporting autistic students—especially those with trauma histories.

Why Trauma and Autism Are Often Misunderstood in Schools

Many educators are trained to manage behavior through consequences, discipline systems, or behavior plans.

But trauma changes how the nervous system responds to stress.

When a student has experienced loss, instability, or chronic misunderstanding, their brain may move quickly into fight, flight, or shutdown.

For autistic students, this is even more complex because:

• sensory overwhelm can trigger stress responses

• communication differences can make it harder to explain emotions

• social misunderstanding can increase feelings of isolation

• repeated correction of natural behaviors can create chronic anxiety

  
  

When adults respond only to the behavior, the student’s underlying need is missed.

This is where an empathy approach becomes critical.

What Is an Empathy Approach?

An empathy approach does not mean ignoring behavior or lowering expectations.

Instead, it means beginning with understanding.

Before asking: “How do we stop this behavior?”

We ask:

• What might this student be experiencing?

• Is their nervous system overwhelmed?

• Is this a missing skill?

• Are they feeling unsafe?

• Is trauma being triggered?

  
  

Empathy allows adults to support regulation first so learning and problem-solving can happen.

As Susan Golubock explains in this week's video, empathy requires us to pause and consider the student’s internal experience before reacting.

In this week’s video, we explore this concept in more depth.

Susan shares why empathy is often misunderstood in schools and how adults can begin shifting from compliance-based responses to empathy-informed support.

If you’ve ever wondered why behavior plans sometimes fail—or why some students escalate despite consequences—this conversation will help you see behavior through a different lens.

If you're interested in having Staci and Susan provide a training for your school or district during the 2026–2027 school year, please complete this brief form and we’ll follow up with more information.

▶ Watch the full conversation here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ldg5v4aDcYw