Do Autistic Individuals Really Struggle with Perspective Taking?

Have you ever been told that autistic individuals struggle with perspective taking? I know I have—and I’ve even written goals around it. I remember using videos in sessions and asking questions like, “What do you think that person is thinking?” But if I’m being honest, it always felt a little off. How do we actually know what someone else is thinking? And who decides what the “right” answer is?

I had a moment years ago where this really clicked for me. A client gave an answer that didn’t match what I expected—but it wasn’t wrong. It was thoughtful. It was based on what they noticed and how they experienced the situation. And that’s when I realized… I wasn’t measuring perspective taking. I was measuring how closely their perspective matched mine.

A lot of this idea comes from early research like the Sally-Anne test, where autistic individuals answered differently than neurotypical individuals. From that, the conclusion became that autistic individuals lack perspective-taking. But what if that’s not what was actually being measured? What if we were really measuring how well someone can navigate a neurotypical way of thinking in a structured test?

Because here’s what we know—everyone has a perspective. Autistic individuals don’t lack perspective. Their perspective is shaped by how their brain processes information, what they notice, and how they experience the world. For example, if someone processes more visually than auditorily, their understanding of a situation will naturally be based on what they see. That’s not wrong—it’s different.

The challenge is that most of our assessments and goals are based on comparison. We’re often asking, “Does this match what most people would say?” And if it doesn’t, it gets labeled as a deficit. But perspective isn’t something you can grade as right or wrong. It’s something you understand.

So when we say an autistic individual is “struggling with perspective taking,” we might actually be missing something. We might not be giving them enough time, enough support, or the right way to show us what they know. We might also be missing the fact that perspective taking goes both ways. It’s not just about them understanding us—we also need to understand them.

This is where the shift happens. Instead of trying to teach perspective taking as a skill to fix, we can start by getting curious about the perspective that’s already there. We can ask what they notice, how they interpret situations, and what makes sense to them. That’s where real connection starts.

If this is something you’ve been working on with your child, students, or clients, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong. You just may not have been given the full picture yet.

In this video, we go deeper into where this myth came from, why it’s stuck around for so long, and what to focus on instead so you can support communication and connection in a more meaningful way.

And if you’re ready to start seeing this differently, we’ve created a free social communication guide to help you understand what an individual already knows, what they want to learn, and what they may not be ready for yet—without comparing them to a neurotypical standard.

🎥 Watch the video to learn more below...

📥 Download the freebie here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byjcM6wdEvE